I can't believe it, this upcoming weekend Kade and I will celebrate our first year of marriage. It seems like just yesterday my mom and sister were insisting on me going on a date with him. Me go on a date...with a cowboy? No way... Little did I know that cowboy had a heart of gold.
Kade and I don't have a typical time line when it comes to us. Before we dated, I met Kade at an Easter get together with my brother-in-laws family. It was Easter, so Kade was dressed head to toe in his cowboy gear. I remember thinking to myself, "I didn't know young men really dressed that way, poor guy." My mom and sister tried to get me to go on a date for him for years. It took my Lex's (my best friend) simple suggestion of going on a double date with Kade and her boyfriend at the time Ryan. I called Kade and suggested that we get together in a couple weeks for a double date. He was so excited and enthused on the phone....and within thirty minutes he was at my parents house. This would be our first confusion with the "time-line". I was in shock, but agreed to a double date. We had some drinks, danced and had a great time together. Kade's courtesy caught me off guard, he was always opening doors for me and was always to polite around me. After our first date, we were inseparable. That summer Kade was working near Huron, SD. He was gone throughout the week, which I spent my time with my girlfriends being careless. Our weekends were spent as a big group; camping in various locations throughout the Black Hills. We were having the time of our lives! I was in love.
Our first summer together came to an end, and I moved back to Spearfish, SD to begin my second year of college. A few short weeks after school started, I was surprised to find out that I was pregnant. This was our second confusion with the "time-line". Initially, I was mortified, but Kade's outlook and support slowly turned all of my fears of the unknown into excitement. His parents were more than supportive of our new journey. I continued with school in Spearfish and Kade continued to work out of town. After the semester ended, I moved into his house in Rapid City and continued classes there. That spring Turner James was born, and our lives were forever changed. We struggled through the first months home with a newborn, learning parenthood together. Kade's parents guided us with all of the challenges a newborn brings. Overtime, being a parent got easier and we both realized this was what made life worthwhile. Turner brought so much joy to our lives. All three of us grew up, together that year. Kade and I become responsible parents, and rarely do we look back.
During this time, Kade and I really started to learn about each other. Yes, most couples do this in the beginning but as stated before, our time-line is a little different. We found things that we both enjoyed and learned to do them together. I hunted before meeting Kade, and that was something he was always passionate about, every year we hunt together. Kade has always been an expert snowmobiler, something he has taught me. Now we each own a sled and spend our weekends in the winter out enjoying the Black Hills. We love camping in the summer, two summers ago we bought a 1985 Road Ranger from Kade's grandpa and camp as much as we can during the summer. It seems the majority of our interests are things we can do together. Kade suggested we start a garden and we learned together the art of gardening. This is the year that I actually learned to cook as well. We both suffered through numerous distasteful meals. Eventually my abilities in the kitchen evolved and I found a new interest. That first year was an important year in our story, it proved that we had the ability to change, grow and learn together.
In September of 2009 I started the nursing program. During my first week of classes, Kade proposed. This is our third confusion with the 'time-line', as most couples get engaged prior to children. BUT--I was thrilled at the thought of Kade and I spending forever together. We set our wedding date, October 9, 2010. Between my first year of nursing school and planning a wedding...this year slipped by as a blur. We began taking marriage preparation classes through Kade's church, St. Rose of Lima. Kade was brought up catholic, something that meant a lot to him. I was raised a convenient Methodist, and the thought of me being catholic had never crossed my mind. Actually, I wasn't a fan of the catholic church at all. I felt like it was a church full of robots, reciting phrases in unison. After many conversations, I opened my mind to the idea of becoming catholic. This was something that was important to Kade, my future husband. I thought, I'd rather incorporate a religion that meant something to my future husband than have none at all. So we began taking classes educating me on the Catholic church. I learned the traditions behind the robot chanting and aerobic workouts during mass and understood it a little better. This period of our history, is again, an important chapter to our story. This is when Kade and I grew together spiritually, and it an aspect of our lives now that I couldn't live without. I became catholic in September 2010 and joined a new family in our church. This is something we incorporate into our lives together, attending church every week. It feels so good to be able to call Kade in a time or worrying or stress and ask him to pray for me.
The summer before our wedding Kade brought up the topic of another child. I still had a year and a half of nursing school, there was no way we could have another child. But somehow, it was something we both wanted and for once, we fit it into OUR time-line!! So we moved forward with our plan-- and began trying for baby number two. We tried for one week and one month later, I found out I was pregnant!!! Our wedding followed a month later and was perfect. After all of the planning and preparing, our day couldn't have been any better.
The winter months came and went, and of course we had some bumps along the way. This chapter of our life, was called communication...or lack there of. It seemed like the months following our wedding day, we fought more than ever. It could have been the stress of school or my pregnancy or a little of both, but I found Kade and I butting heads constantly. We needed that, it taught us how to truly communicate with each other. I was always guilty of keeping things in, and when I finally deemed it time to address issues, it seemed like I mustered up six months worth. Kade always felt like brushing things under the rug would be better than addressing them with me. With this nasty combination, we fought. Over the course of a couple of months and many many many sit down conversations about our lack thereof communication skills, we sorted it out.
Last spring, Ainsley joined our family. And for now, we are complete. I look back at our little steps to where we are today, and Kade and I have grown so much together. I think of all that Kade and I have accomplished together over the past 4 1/2 years and stop in my tracks to think that we have so much more to learn about each other. All of these steps in our relationship have given us the opportunity to grow together. I couldn't ask for a better father to my kids, a better husband to share them with or a better friend to spend my extra time with. We still have a long ways to go, but with each step our love grows.
